As I sit and review the essays submitted for the 1st Annual Dylan Konakowitz Memorial Foundation 2018 scholarship awards, I find myself thinking about what Dylan would do. I find myself setting the three following criteria: heart, ambition and the future; three things Dylan always thought about.
This is my first real blog, while I wanted to write, I found I could not write about anything (although I certainly have plenty to say) until I had something of substance. Which brings me to this.... doing something in honor of Dylan. He loved life, he loved everyone and, while I certainly cannot imagine him somewhere other than here on this earthly realm, I can certainly imagine he is smiling.
As I read the scholarship applications, I have found myself reminiscing, laughing out loud, and naturally, crying (ok, sobbing). Dylan was many things, but two things stand out in my mind...... he was patient and he was kind. He may not have always liked it, but god damn it that kid was persistent (Channel Stewie from Family Guy)..... Ma, Mommy, Mamacita, Stacey, Momma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Mommy, Stace, Ma, Momma, Mamacita, Ma.... you get the idea! If EVER there was someone determined, it was him. And for good reason; he knew the secret. He compartmentalized, he forged ahead, he knew love and where he wanted to be. Many of us can say..... WTF? (I can hear Dylan saying that in true Connor McGregor fashion: "whoot da foock"? come on dude...... do a boy a solid #connormcgregor, also something Dylan would say just hoping for ya know... recognition).
I had the pleasure of carrying Dylan for just about 39 weeks. He was my youngest, last born. Most say "spoiled from the beginning". Dylan was different. He was not my easiest honestly. That would be Jesse, the oldest of my twins. In fact, Jesse and Ana, who were almost 5 when Dylan was born, were by far easier than Dylan, yup......two were easier than one. Dylan was nursed from day one. Not out of choice, but because to be honest I had too much to do and financially it was the best option (pre-WIC). But it was best for him and I did nurse him until about 8 months. At which time I was truly so worn down, formula was his best and healthiest option.
Dylan was always full of life. He pushed me always in every aspect of my life. Mostly, I was too much or never enough. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was his biggest supporter and while I tried to "fit in" to his life of checking blood sugar, making good food choices (while of course bolusing for them), I certainly was not his best friend. I can say that while personally I do not believe in the role of parent as best friend, I was certainly his biggest advocate. That kid...was my end all and be all.
I love these kids graduating from high school. With high hopes and big dreams and I read their essays and take from them what I imagine Dylan would.
Dylan, you may have know him or you may have known of him. Regardless, he had your back. Dylan, the kid with the million dollar smile. Dylan, the kid who had the key to life; that kid, happier than anyone I have known in my life (as long as you did NOT take his clothes), his legacy is what keeps me going every "got dam" day! (Mispronounced in true Dylan fashion)!
Sending love and strength to all!
Ma, Mommy, Mamacita, Stacey, Momma, Ma, Ma, Ma, Mommy, Stacey, Ma, Momma, Mamacita, Ma