Today marks 47 months without you. That is 204 weeks, 1,430 days without that smile, that laugh, a hug, so many things are missing, it is truly impossible to count them all. As we lead up to 4 years since you have been gone, I find myself not only still in shock that this much time has passed without you; but I also spend these days thinking of our last days together. This time four years ago, we were the mother and son in Target getting things for your dorm room. You were so excited and so ready; and while I was truly happy for you to be following your dream and taking the next step that you worked really hard for, I was also so panicked.

I could never imagine a world without you in it. Yet everyday, I feel your absence for 1,440 minutes. Sure, I have so many other things that I look forward to, that bring me joy and make me laugh; but nothing can ever take away from my longing for you.

Every day without you, is a day closer to seeing you again.